that time i was almost miss tinkerbell

okay 'almost' is a strong word

Hey guys,

Hope you are well!

This week I thought I’d just fill you in on a funny story that was revealed to me this past week.

So I had a chance to do something that’s a bit in the public eye last week and while discussing with my family if I should do it, my mother piped up with saying, ‘Maybe you should do it, seeing as you didn’t get a chance to be Miss Tinkerbell.’

This confused me because I have no knowledge about anything to do with a Miss Tinkerbell. I didn’t even know that was a real thing that existed. And I have quite a good memory about my childhood, a lot of it has to do with vivid memories, and others have to do what my family has told me, many many times. But no one had even mentioned anything about this until last week. Apparently, it was a real thing, because when my mom said to my dad, ‘Remember Miss Tinkerbell?’ He laughed and said, ‘Of course.’ So this must have been a long-running joke between them.

So the story goes: I saw an entry or advert for the Miss Tinkerbell beauty pageant and I told my mom that I wanted to enter. This is wild to me right now, because I was not the beauty pageant kind of child, I was more of the hide under the table and read a book kind of child. But I was also a persistent child and apparently, I kept bringing this up and kept nagging my mom about it. But she wasn’t keen on sending me, she thought of all the work it would entail to prepare me for that, and the fact that was painfully shy and probably would cry or get stage fright didn’t seem like it was worth it.

My first reaction was to get upset, thinking ‘maybe if they didn’t hold me back, I would’ve had more confidence in myself as an adult.’ But then I took a moment and thought it through. There was no way in hell I would’ve won that competition, with how shy and shrinking I was as a child. If anything, the competition probably would’ve made me more self-conscious.

And I think I realised at that moment that part of growing up is spending a little time in parents’ shoes. And instead of chastising them, thinking about what we would’ve done in that same situation if we were parenting ourselves. I would have kept that little child so far away from beauty pageants, sometimes you are too young to be told that you don’t meet society’s standards of what is beautiful.

Because I’m curious, I did research the pageant and discovered it was quite a big deal in the mid-90s in South Africa. Tumi Voster even won it one year. It seems that quite a few future pageant finalists and entertainers have stated that as being the pageant to jumpstart their careers. Perhaps there is an alternate universe where I lived a Toddlers and Tiaras life, but for now, I am glad that in this universe I was saved from the drama for a few more years.

Were you a pageant kid? Tell me your story.

other things that are on my mind this week:

• I’ve been really into music documentaries lately. And this past week I watched What Happened Miss Simone? and Quincy. The Nina Simone documentary was so beautiful and heartbreaking, but I really loved that I got to understand so much more about her. Quincy had me bawling at the end of it, it was directed by Rashida Jones, so it was obviously a flattering portrait but I loved how personal it was, how open he was, and the story that is told. Both documentaries are available on Netflix.

• This past week I also watched the film Network (1976) for the first time and I am obsessed. The script alone was amazing, but the performances were just as mesmerising. After watching, I immediately wanted to watch it again.

• I was also guest this week on the podcast, What’s the Quarantee. We spoke about the film Cuties / Mignonnes and the controversy around it. Listen here.

what’s ign crushing on:

This week on the podcast I was joined by South African comedian, Lindy Johnson. She is hilarious and such an insightful person. In the conversation, we chatted about her journey in comedy, our equal disdain for Midge in The Marvelous Mrs Maisel, whether its time for SNL to end, and the origins of her crush on Tom Selleck. Listen to it here.